The A&E show “Hoarders” is morbid fascination at its best…or worst. I don’t know which. Either way, if you’re a lover or a hater, you have to admit it’s horrifying television. It’s a disturbing view into demented psychology. I’m pretty sure it’s what they’re making terrorist suspects watch while they’re stripped naked and doused in ice water in a Guantanamo Bay prison cell. I’d spill the beans about anything after a few episodes. My mom always used to call me a pack-rat. And I thought I was until I watched “Hoarders”. These people take projecting their mental and emotional issues to a level I didn’t know existed. Every piece of junk, no matter how buried it is under other junk, and no matter how tattered and shit on it is from rat infestations, means the world to these hoarding freaks. The show is a massive, bloody, flaming train wreck that you just can’t turn away from. I couldn’t at first, anyway. But after you see a few, you’ve seen em all. At least, that’s my deal. But then I have a thing for the show “Intervention”, and I guess that’s just another multi-car, high-speed television pile-up that demands your attention. I like watching people take drugs way, way, way too far. You guys like watching broken down old women climb over 6 foot piles of rubbish to squat and piss in an old bed pan. To each his sadistic own. “Hoarders” freaks me out. I do not apologize. Those people live in a world of claustrophobic filth and will bite your hand like a rabid raccoon if you try to take the smallest piece of moldy shit out of their collection of moldy shit. One day it’ll make a great movie starring a slightly less douchey Ryan Gosling and a considerably older looking Zooey Deschanel as the hoarders, and Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew McConaughey, and Drew Barrymore as the disgusting, hoarded trash. Tuesday, October 4, 2011